I said yes but I felt this no in me
I heard a train and it was gone
I was waiting to talk
and a voice said
are you ok
I said yes
but there was a crying buzzing
I am not I said
and I explained the train and the hills behind it
subtle nature painting everlasting love
pouring rain blurring the world
sometimes it is so clear
you ask
how many things are living in the fields
I am all alone here
I explained
how everyone is
and there was so much concern
and crickets everywhere in Kansas City and
Northampton, Massachusetts
in the air in the folds of travel
passing a flask 
in the white noise of the river at night
I made a shape with my hands
approximating the action of 
a popping seed
a fern that folds
the kind of beauty you have to pretend not to see
hold your hand out
move your feet
everything is equalizing in the fields
in the cellar
settling in blood
I'm not really here right now
though I remember it was nice
to walk with you

hmmm

it's so quiet out here tonight

did I fail you in some way
I asked

__

I don't know what to say about this poem, so I'll just say that two of the many things I had in mind when I wrote it were "The Whiteness of the Whale" chapter of Moby-Dick and the scene in Joe Versus the Volcano when Joe says, "Dear God, whose name I do not know: thank you for my life."