the fungal gnats are blooming again & my mother weeps for me

she says I beg you not to... / I catch as many flies as I can / rub them     

to dust / then to nothing / between my fingers / the sun sets

exhausted / the moon is late / the phone grows hot against my ear

I am practicing silence / I am practicing assembly / rebuilding

myself atom by atom / fly by fly by fly / when I die I ask to be

buried quickly / I am weary of cohesion / of introducing myself

to each fly / I say forgive me / like you I never expected to survive this

long / I hang up the phone & do not apologize / this is a skill

I am learning / you're invited to take a walk with me / the moon

will be along / I hope you'll come / though I am going anyway

__

To control fungal gnats without insecticides, dress houseplants with beneficial nematodes, which inject parasitic bacterium into pest larvae. For adult gnats, spray water mixed with the oils of peppermint, cinnamon, and sesame. You can also clap your hands over them. They're poor fliers. A normal clap will do.