The little men who are always hashing over their
dubious plans made according to the undefined dictates of mechanisms that
operate so far beyond their sphere of influence that we cannot even begin
to imagine what these mechanisms are close toassuming all distant
things are at least close to something, as we have so often assumed in
the pastare once again tired of their tedious administrative role,
and can now be seen, from outside the planning room, to shake their tiny
fists in anger and stand up from their assigned seats.
On THE WAVE OF A LOST CAUSE:
(At the time that I wrote this piece, as well as the writing outside of these parentheses, a few years ago) I was spaced out beyond double space (in a mire of hopeless office frustration). If myself was divided into my and self, it was like the spacebar had been depressed for years. (I was a robot in a sea of data entry.) The space available in my life felt like margins on a page surrounding text already written: space only good for holding with dirty fingers or on which to note corrections that would never be made (which is where I had to teach myself to write). The space inside my lungs was too small (so I conducted illegal breathing exercises on the job, hiding them in emails to myself) and between my ears it was empty. Although something still rattled when I shook my head. Scraps of aluminum? A binder clip? Washers? (And I saw these respirations as the nuts and bolts for the construction of a future escape pod, although most of that early writing was pretty bad.) The space between my toes and the front of my shoes was too small. (But I kept running.) I had difficulty breathing as I limped (further and further into myself). There wasn't any space inside my heart (which brings this description up to speed). Someone had filled it with ice (I began sledding inside my veins). Or in my dreams. Someone had filled them with nightmares (I have always liked my dreams, for it is warmer on top of the mountain). But there was plenty of space in my memories. I never had time to make any (so I started living in a fantasy world).