[ToC]

 

I SPILLED THE TALL BOTTLE OF RED WINE; YOU WANT ME TO DIE

Jamison Crabtree

; so I do; but after; you want me to know that it wasn't enough; so I hang myself in your parlor next to the fine china; with twine I found in one of the kitchen drawers; but it's still not enough; I invent new ways to die; I have the first brain attack; I talk my cells into splitting up but for good this time; every joke kills me; my death is so commonplace that the city has grown comfortable with it; death certificates are scattered everywhere; stabilizing the legs of tables and chairs; they block the drafts that would otherwise steal in beneath the doors; people read the morning death certificates instead of the paper; and I just thought to ask you is this really necessary; do I really need to do this; but I do not ask and I am covered in fresh wounds; round and straight; think puncture; think slash; but don't think of the guitar player; there; now you've done it; this is quite a lot so here is an interlude; here is a balloon elephant for you or your kid; here is where it ends and I tell you that someone whipped me to death; on a boat and in a jail and on a farm and in a sex dungeon and at the top of the eiffel tower and with someone holding a chair in one hand and the whip in the other; here is where I tell you how I whipped myself to death; for therapeutic and/or religious purposes; also; I was worked to death; I still may be every accidental death; my head was never found; my head was found before my torso; before my legs; my tattoos are no longer legible due to all this dying that I am doing for you; the ship is split in half and no one knows that I love my mother by looking at my bicep; and you are still not satisfied; and worse; and instead; you don't remember ever asking me to die; and you want me to prove to you how any word of this could have ever been true;

 

 

 

 


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My memory ain't great but I'm pretty sure that all of this happened exactly as written. Although, I just checked my passport and all the pages are blank, so maybe the Eiffel tower part's not completely factual. But the rest sounds right.